Recently chatting online with a young Mom, about some of her struggles of living a godly life in Australia got me a thinkin’!

Our conversation was related to our children.  How do we prepare them for the world; that they would be ‘Christ-like ones’ that exude Jesus, confidence and health and at the same time be attractive to people around them?  Not offensive, obnoxious and having all the answers but rather, living in a wholeness of life that makes other people want what they have?

I think for me, I’ve seen these kinds of young people produced from homes where the parents exude Jesus, confidence and health!  It is so simple, if I want my kids to act/behave in a certain way, I have to model that for them.  If I want joy-filled kids, I have to be joyful, positive and loving in front of them.  It’s so simple and so hard all at the same time; because I don’t always ‘feel’ good, and that is where the stretching comes into play for me. I have to do it anyway, no matter how I might feel at the moment.

So then there’s the question, do we isolate our kids from the world or insulate them?  Isolation means to in a way, to stay away from all the negative influences, become a little Christian sub-culture and shun everything in the world.  Might work for a while, but eventually your kids will rebel against this type of up-bringing and probably rebel even more than you’d dreaded or imagined!

I think the key is to not isolate but insulate them against the attacks on their minds and hearts from young on. Insulate is defined in the dictionary as: ‘ protect from heat, cold, noise, etc. by surrounding with insulating material.’ Prepare them for opposition, for real life and for the fact that they can be in the world but not ‘of it’ as we learn in scripture.  They don’t have to go along with every new trend or fad, not just to be ‘separate’ but to have a questioning, reasoning mind that asks, but ‘why should I do this or believe what you’re telling me?’ Reasoning and coming to conclusions in their own minds about their beliefs, before being swallowed up by popular opinion, is a good thing for our children to learn.

So does that mean they can read Harry Potter, watch Twilight movies from 5 yrs. old and generally do whatever seems the ‘in thing’ and hope we’ve insulated them well enough to not be effected by it? Well, parent, that you will have to decide for yourself! I think insulation produces an inner strength (that protective covering) in God and in character, that when our children are faced with a choice or decision, they go to God and to us, and ask for wisdom and insight for what they should do. 

My parents were of the generation that didn’t believe in playing cards and going to movies…now that was a different day.  But to this day I respect them for their stand based on their consciences. They had a conviction and they stood by it. It wasn’t the cards that were evil, but the fact that they didn’t believe in gambling in any form.  It wasn’t the movies that were always bad but the portrayal of what they saw as Hollywood lifestyles that they were against. I may not adhere to the same, exact values myself, but what it taught me was to not just go with the flow or follow the crowd and to question why we do things!  We have to go to God for the details in how to live out this walk of faith; what may be harmful to my conscience may not be to yours, but the basis of all decisions is found in the Word of God and the counsel of godly men and women around us.

As my husband often comments, ‘If you want your kids to be free, YOU be free!’  It’s so true, in my freedom, my children will find freedom to be all they can be, not isolated in a monastery on a mountain top somewhere but insulated against ridicule, or even hatred and yet joyful knowing they are marching to the beat of a very different drummer….

We live in a land of seasons.  Since returning to Canada in May we have had the fun and privilege of working garden soil; planting seeds, watering, weeding, weeding….did I mention weeding…and harvesting the radishes, peas, potatoes, carrots, beets and the good things that come from a garden.  It was a season to plant.

We enjoyed the warm-ISH days of summer; no school, relaxing with family and friends, camping, hiking, swimming in pristine lakes and just generally enjoying those lazy summer days.  It was a season to enjoy!

And now as I gaze of out my window it is framed with golden leaves, some fallen to the ground, against the contrast of the tall evergreen trees.  It is fall now, back to school, routines in place, time to get busy with life and make new friends and start to think of the next season…winter.  This has meant harvesting the garden, mercilessly pulling up the dried and dying flowers that I so lovingly tended all summer…it seems a bit harsh and heartless but it is the job of fall.

I want to encourage you friends, to embrace each season of life as it is thrown your way.  It may seem out of ‘sync’ with what you expected, what you anticipated your life to be, but see the good in it and rejoice because God will only give you the season and the joy or trial he knows you can handle. 

I remember a winter season in my life, that was painful, hard, seemingly with no end in sight.  But my husband’s words encouraged me so much, ‘but this will end, it has an end’. Just to know that sometimes helps, this season of pain will not go on forever.

I love the words from 2 Timothy 4:2, ‘preach the word; be ready in season and out of season;”  No matter what season you are in, spring, summer, fall or winter, let your life preach a beautiful message! Rejoice in that thing that you are going through, and if you can’t, be at rest to know, it is only for a season, this unbearable thing will pass and spring again will bud new freshness in your soul.

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;

A time to plant, and time to pluck up what is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;

A time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;

A time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to seek, and a time to lose;

A time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to tear, and a time to sew;

A time to keep silence and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate;

A time for war, and a time for peace.”  Eccl. 3:1-8

From the beginning of this year, with our move to Canada imminently looming nearer, Leonard and I sat with pen and paper in hand one Monday morning…day-off stuff you know…to ‘plan, sort out’ get this moving thing to Canada organized properly.  We went through our list of what to sell, what to disconnect, who should collect which things when etc. etc.  you know…all the stuff moves are made of.

Standing at the end of this process, I can only stand in amazement at how God himself orchestrated every detail in our lives over the past couple of months.

Firstly Canadian friends from Zimbabwe that were moving to S. Africa contacted us early on, asking if they could purchase all our major appliances and bigger furniture items…good check that off the list…

Other people handed me or emailed me lists and asked if this or that item was available…which all seemed to be available for everyone asking!  Good, check that off the list.

Then, it’s funny how weird or odd things get left until the end, that loose carpet in the living room, that set of drawers in the store room, those last small kitchen appliances shoved in the back cupboard and that stove we have literally moved around the world with…each and every item, someone absolutely needed or asked for at the perfect time!

The people buying our last bed could wait to collect until the last day we needed to sleep on it…how amazing!  The same people buying our car, have said…use it until you leave…all such huge, specific details covered by God’s perfect plan for our lives.

Leonard was approached by a friend in church and told, ‘look, sell your motorbike now, ahead of time, and you can use mine until you leave’.  Wow, what generosity and also a huge blessing since the bike has been our second vehicle.

I guess the ‘funniest’ or most detailed evidence of God’s hand in all of this was when Matthew’s teacher from school, shyly wrote in his school diary, asking if just ‘by chance’, we would have a toaster, sandwich maker or microwave oven for sale.  She and her family had spent quite a few years in the USA and had come back but didn’t have any S. African voltage appliances.  Oh and by chance did we also just happen to have any transformers to sell, since they also had some appliances from America?

I read her note and laughed out loud actually, because I had just spoken to Leonard and said where on earth am I going to get rid of these last few things that I forget to ask people if they needed…namely, a toaster, a sandwich maker and the microwave oven???  I could only smile, knowing these were God’s fingerprints of love on our lives, taking care of the absolute minutest detail of our move to Edmonton.  What could I say but YES teacher, I do have all these items left, the very last things left and also just ‘happen’ to have not one but two transformers in perfect condition for her American appliances! 

Another chuckle we had in the process was our dear domestic worker Agnes, organized with a relative to come with a bakkie (pick-up truck) to collect a ladder, a folding table and a couple of bags of clothes I had given her.  They came and as they began carrying these things out, we kept finding more and more things for her load…blankets, a huge rocking chair, a few plastic garden chairs, etc. etc. until they had the ‘typical African’ load, hanging over the sides of the bakkie, tied on with ropes for dear life and oh yah, the ladder even made on top of the load!  Her husband laughed telling us, she told me we were just coming for a ladder, which he was thrilled with since he could use it for his job, but left, dragging slowly down the road with their heavy load. 

And all I have thought of lately, is I have to say thanks to the Lord for working out each and every one of these details, but how can you possibly say thanks for so much that he has done for us?  This is only one incident in a lifetime of ‘coincidences’ which I know are the specific hands of God working out so many intricate details in our lives.

So, I will say thanks, but with my entire life; with my strength, with my words, with giving all I have to love, pray, preach, raise kids, reach out to others, or cook meals.  May EVERY SINGLE small effort in my life, just be a way to say thank you Father….may I continually give you all the glory for your amazing love and care in my life!!

Those long, dusty stretches.  Those painful longings that can even make the heart sick.  We’ve all felt those pangs of desperation at times as we ‘wait upon the Lord’ for things promised but as yet unfulfilled.  It’s hard, it’s long and dry at times but is a part of life that can’t be avoided.

Zechariah and Elizabeth were a couple longing for a child for years.  The Bible tells us that they had walked blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord, but they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren and both were advanced in years.

But suddenly, unexpectedly, Zechariah is visited by the angel Gabriel while on his temple duty.  Poor Zechariah couldn’t believe his ears or his eyes and because of his unbelief at what the angel was telling him about Elizabeth becoming pregnant, he was struck dumb until John’s birth. 

Even as Zechariah lost his ability to speak, God’s message to him was that his words would not fall to the ground but WOULD, beyond a shadow of a doubt be fulfilled.

And of course as the facts go, John the Baptist was born and the promise was fulfilled.

But the point I want to make is that we often face a lifetime of longings and seemingly unfulfilled promises.  And so it was with Zechariah, Elizabeth and John.

Zechariah prophesies amazing things at the birth of John, about his future…”And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High, you will go before the Lord to prepare his ways, to give knowledge of salvation to his people in the forgiveness of their sins…,”  Again, we see another prophecy in the lives of this family.

But again followed by the words, “And the child grew and became strong in spirit, and he was in the wilderness until the day of his public appearance to Israel.”

Even though John was born and the promise fulfilled, there would be another waiting period, as John himself lived ‘in the wilderness’, no doubt wondering if the things spoken over his life would come to pass. 

Perhaps you feel like you’ve been through one wilderness after another and it’s too much to bear.  My friend, take heart, you are following great footsteps of the fathers of the faith that have walked this ‘way of waiting’ long before you.  Keep the faith, fight the good fight and believe the words of the angel in Luke that say, his words will be fulfilled in their time.  Not our time, not too quickly or too late, but in God’s perfect timing for what he wants to accomplish in your life, the life of your church or even a nation.

I have been mulling over in my mind, the topic of serving for a few months now. But it has been a struggle to articulate all I felt about it.  How do we do it; how do we serve well? What if we stray towards works of the flesh and drivenness?  All these thoughts have run through my mind over the last months, weighing on my heart, especially as from time to time I hear the complaining voices of the ‘saints’ which disturbs my heart.  How can we complain when such a great debt of love has been paid for us?  How can I grow weary when I am living in abundant grace since receiving Christ’s love into my heart?

It all became crystal clear to me as I was reading this morning in Song of Solomon!  The light came on but I feel it is more of a prophetic word on serving than an essay.

We read of the Shulammite bride, longing for, desiring her husband.  She is deeply in love with her kingly groom; there is no doubt about that.  She anticipates his arrival at her door, she longs for his love, and she welcomes him with open arms to her garden of love. When he goes missing she searches for her beloved husband.

Suddenly the idea of ‘serving’ became very clear to me.  When you are deeply in love with your groom, there is no price too high to do what PLEASES HIM!!  Because this loving bride was so deeply enthralled with her husband, any task, chore or duty connected to him or his desires was only pure pleasure for her!  She was not a servant, but a lover of her husband.  Nothing was too difficult, nothing out of reach, nothing a burden because of her captivated heart for her King.  He was her first love and so any duty whether small or great required of her, was only a pleasure for her.  She didn’t HAVE to serve him; she had the PRIVILEGE of serving him!

My mind then wandered to the old movies we have all watched where there is a ‘wench’ in the household of some great king or nobleman.  She also is serving but with a very different heart attitude.  She is there against her will mostly, hair bedraggled, on her knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor or whatever other ugly task is at hand.  There is no lightness in her spirit, no joy in service, nothing….just drudgery and duty waiting for her day in and day out.  None of us wants to be the ‘wench’ in the castle!

But how are some of us living our lives?  How are we living out this love affair with our groom?  Do we anticipate each fresh day with him, sitting and feasting with him and then carrying out his wishes with joy and a sense of privilege to be his ‘wife’? 

I know life can be demanding.  Men often have a boss on their backs, weighing them down with heavy demands for more. Or perhaps you are a man running a business with the heavy weight of other lives on your mind, paying their salaries, meeting deadlines and carrying budget constraints.  Wives have the duties of home and family and often of work outside the home, tearing at their hearts and minds.  Single people carry burdens alone that none of us are even aware of.  We all have reasons to be the ‘wench in the kitchen’, just doing our duties but with no sense of joy or privilege or anticipation for the next task.

I think we have to be honest and say, “Lord, have I lost my love affair with you?”  “Have I fallen ‘out of love’ with the lover of my soul?”

Does my life and service to Christ attract people to him, or just turn people off so much that they take one look and say, ‘that looks painful, I’m glad I’m not under those rules and religion’.  Or do we have such a burning passion and love which flows into acts of love and kindness that the ‘others’ in our lives say as the others said in Song of Solomon 6:1

I pray to God that what people see in my life will have them asking, ‘how may I seek him with you’?  A life of service lived with the heart of thankfulness and love for our Master will only attract the others in our lives to him.  But I fear that what they see is often something very different…the word ‘wench’ comes to mind….

The deep affection expressed in the Song of Solomon is reciprocal.  The lover and his beloved are both equally enamored and taken with each other.

What a beautiful picture of the combination of love and service.  Our lover showers us with blessings, love, eternal life, protection, and personal and church family; there are just too many acts of kindness to mention!  And we in return have the privilege of loving him back, spending time with him in prayer, seeking his face and giving our whole lives in joyful service to him!  When we look at all he’s given to us, how can we not give EVERYTHING to him.  How can we not do all we can to express our love for him?  Even if it is things we don’t like to do, how can we not do what he asks after the love he has so graciously showered on us?

I think a key element to remaining joyful and glad in Christ’s service is remaining in love and close to the Lover of our Souls.  But following closely on the heels of that is thankfulness for his love to us.

We must choose to be glad, choose to be thankful and then reap the benefits of a joyful life of service to Christ.

We must deny our ‘rights’ which leads us down a path that is a dead end street.  Live for Christ, live for others and you will find you have a natural side product of joy and fulfillment in your own life.

Remember your first love, remember when Jesus first embraced your heart and saved you from sin and self-destruction.  Meditate on his goodness to you; come into his presence with singing!  Allow him to re-capture your heart.

And the natural outflow will be you, walking in the joy and privilege of serving and living for your heavenly husband!

If we live life this way, the ‘others’ in our lives will say, “how may we seek him with you?”  Now that will bring more joy to you, than you can imagine!! 

Renew your first love and it WILL naturally and easily be a privilege and a joy to serve our beloved King.

With much love,

Lorie

When we were children growing up on our family farm, we would often have to move hay bales to feed the cattle.  Many times we would stumble across a nest of mice in what looked like an ordinary bale of hay.  When we saw something move that shouldn’t move or when we kicked the hay, we would see something that should not be there; if something shocked us and moved, we would kick it again!  We would have hours of fun destroying these nests of mice before they could ruin our hard-worked-for hay!
 
Strongholds in our lives are like that.  They are just like a nest of vipers that move in, perhaps small at first, but if not checked, will ruin the entire place.  When we are hit with circumstances, hardships or truth, and get a reaction that is not what you expect, something is not right. So you kick again!  Sure enough you find a whole nest of vipers, a stronghold that should not be there.  When a stronghold is found it must be rooted out completely.  You cannot make a  truce or sign a treaty with strongholds for they know only one way; to proliferate and take over.
 
Like a cancer, it must be cut out completely.  Strongholds in our hearts and minds must likewise be dealt with completely.
 
What are you seeing in your life that you don’t like or should not be there?  Thank God that he is allowing it to be seen before it can do real damage.  Ask God to show you how to deal with this stronghold. Seek help from Christian friends and family who can be objective and offer real help.
 
Nests of cute, little baby mice turn into infestations of fleas and disease ridden hordes of mice before you know what has happened!  Shake the ‘bales’ of your life before those ‘little mice’ take a hold and destroy the good crop of your life.

Since we have been on the topic of family lately, dealing with mothering, fathering, and marriage and I thought it would be a good idea to look at the issue of honoring our parents.
 
We all love to jump on this band wagon as PARENTS, quoting scripture and doing our best to instruct our children to obey us, follow God’s ways etc., which are all good things to do.
 
We firmly believe in the scripture that teaches, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  Honor your father and mother that it may go well with you and you may live long in the land.”  As parents we do our best, loving, teaching, guiding and disciplining our children when necessary to bring them to a deep and loving relationship with Jesus Christ.  I believe this is also a preparation for us, that one day, as we age and may need assistance and care, that we have raised our children in such a way that they are willing and able to look after us.  We often do get what we prepare for, so preparing your children well now; will reap benefits of relationship into your future.
 
But thinking further down the road, I couldn’t help but ask myself, now that I am grown, with children of my own, am I STILL a good child?  Do I still honor and respect my parent or parents (and in-laws)?  It’s somehow easier to assure our children respect us but do we still have a deep love and affection for our parents as they age?
 
In our own intelligence of the modern age it is so easy to slip into a slight ‘despising’ of our parents wisdom or way or doing things.  “I’ll never turn out like my parents”, “I’ll never raise my kids like I was raised”, are all quotes we’ve either made or heard others say.  I have to ask myself, is this honoring my parents or in a little way, dishonoring or putting them down in a way that is not honoring to God?
 
I think of my mother far away in Canada, living on her own and know what a phone call means to her.  I can honor her so easily by getting on skype and just spending an hour chatting to her for such a little cost. It means so much to her to hear how we are doing and in a way, I believe, honors her.
 
I know of others with children overseas that regularly do a little ‘granny and grandpa email’ with pictures of the grandchildren and updates in their lives, just to include them in things that they can’t be a part of, I believe that is honoring.  It may take a few minutes of our time, but can mean so very much to them, to include them in our lives.
 
Your parents may have not been the best parents but that doesn’t negate the fact that we have a responsibility to love and honor them, no matter how they treated us.  
 
And I also understand that there are over-bearing parents out there, unable to almost function without daily contact and control over your life.  This too, needs work, boundaries put into place by you, as an adult so that you can to the best of your ability ‘live at peace with all men.’  Don’t throw up your hands in despair and say it’s impossible; pray for wisdom, ‘buy truth, and do not sell it.’
 
We can bring so much joy to our parents with often just a bit of effort on our part.
 
Scripture puts it so beautifully, ‘Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice.”
 
 

The truth and confrontation of scripture is stronger than anything we can imagine at times!  Will I really bring rottenness to my husband’s bones??  Lord, help me to be upright and be delivered from myself!  Lord please allow my house to stand and bring you glory.

I think at times we take our job as Moms a little too lightly, but scripture obviously does not, so with these thoughts in mind, we thought it would be good to respond to some emails I received from my last blog from Mommies wanting more details and insight on how to order their lives in a way that would give them more time with their husbands and less chaos on the home front.  It seems sometimes the high ideals of scripture turn into very practical truths on how we can order our lives, so that our homes will stand and we truly can be a crown for our husbands!

Set a routine for your day; even write it down in the beginning.  Don't just let your day happen to you haphazardly, you take time with the Lord, you choose wake up time, sleep times, play times, cleaning house time etc.  Just like any job, this is your job and you are the boss, so if you 'just let it happen' it will always be chaos.  You set the structure, tone and pace of your day.  Cut back on activities or play dates so you have more time for housework or preparing meals, a man coming into a chaotic home doesn't find rest, so it's important to have peace in the home and you CAN change that.

If you’re a Mom with a new little one, you will need to plan sleep training for baby.  It feels ruthless in the beginning but she needs to be fed, bathed, loved and told even now, it's time to SLEEP, and then put her down.  If a night--light helps or a favourite teddy, fine, but then don't go back in when the screaming starts...this is very hard...but it trains her to calm herself and just jolly well sleep!! You can't cave in either, but in the end, she'll realize all that crying isn't getting her anywhere, will actually wear herself out and sleep like a baby as they say!  Remember, you have to train yourself as much as baby, you naturally want to help or intervene, but in the long run, when you are exhausted from lack of sleep, you will not be able to function properly in any sphere of your life.  Happy training.... :)

Plan date times for you and your man.  Work with other friends to swop baby-sitting so you can all have turns to go out for a movie or meal or whatever.  Just time away for both of you gives new perspective and you actually like those kiddies when you come home again!

Plan fun times together for all of you.  Might just be a walk around the block, a trip to the park, a picnic somewhere, but start building fun and memories into your children’s lives now.  It will build on the fact that in the end life SHOULD BE FUN, not just drudgery and confusion!

And the biggest one, PRAY for wisdom and God will show you the way forward.  They are his children, also his husband that he gave you, so he knows what's best for them, even better than you do.

Also, you must read the book ‘Fascinating Womanhood’ by Helen Andelin, that book is like a textbook for a good marriage.  I'm reading it now and you can't believe how it's helping me, even after 29 yrs!!

You can do it and bring glory to God through following his wisdom for your life.  Don’t just let life ‘happen’ to you; don’t be like the wicked in Proverbs and be overthrown; when you see those overwhelming waves coming for you, jump on and ride them to victory rather than letting them drown you!!

More than a ‘blog’ today, I feel I have a word from the Lord for perhaps one specific lady, though I hope many will take time to ponder on, what I feel in my heart.

It is a definite problem in many homes, the fact that the children’s lives, activities and needs take priority over the husband’s.  When the children want something new, mother assumes it will just have to happen somehow, regardless of budget constraints.  When there is a small cry in the night, mother jumps out of bed in an instant and is gone to assist.  Father is barely greeted at the door, as mother rushes out to the children’s activities that are booked, paid for and cannot be missed!!  

He is the one that always has to ‘understand’ because after all, he is an adult and able to handle being put on the back burner.  He has to understand that it is his responsibility to foot the bill for a myriad of activities, from his one income.  He has to realize that our dear children NEED these things to fit into the society we live in; we don’t want our children to have any disadvantage whatsoever.  Daddy must wait because Mommy is so pre-occupied and taken with her role as ‘the mother’.

Short of calling this sin, I will call it foolish on the part of mother!  Who is the one who loved her and gave her these dear children?  Who is it that married her and said he firstly wanted to care for her, as his wife?  When one day, the darlings that have occupied your every waking moment have left the nest, who will be left to help you walk through that empty nest syndrome??  Probably dear ol’ Dad, you know that guy that was left on the back burner, playing second fiddle all those years!

Think of the years of joy-building you are missing by not giving your man the priority, love and attention he deserves!  Running in circles after whining children will only perpetuate selfishness and self-centeredness in adulthood. Please ladies, use wisdom in what and how much you do for your children, we really can create monsters in our ‘need to be needed’!!!

Tip of the day:  From a young age, put the plastic cereal bowls at child-height, cereal, spoons, and milk in smaller containers if necessary, so they can start feeding themselves, especially on Saturday mornings!!  Let them take up small responsibilities, which show that Daddy and Mommy having a longer rest together on a Saturday morning is a GOOD thing!

SHOW THEM, that that are not the center of your universe or anyone else’s by showing them that Daddy has first priority in your heart. (Don’t allow them to interrupt your conversation at the dinner table, they must wait their turn until Daddy and Mommy have finished talking.) There is actually MORE security in that for them.  When Dad and Mom’s marriage is strong, they feel that security and love and are more at peace, even if they have to tend to themselves a bit more.  It doesn’t hurt them; it’s actually good for them.

“An excellent wife who can find?  She is far more precious than jewels.  The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.”

Let your husband have full confidence in your love for him, and when ‘he has no lack of gain’, neither will you or your children!!

What is faith:  believing in something that you don’t see.  We have faith for something as simple as sitting on a chair, we sit down, believing that the chair will hold us up!

This is the great chapter of faith in the Bible, speaking of people who stood for what they believed, not knowing if they would ever see those promises made to them, in their lifetime.

An example of great faith is Noah; he was warned of things not yet seen, the flood, and moved with godly fear, prepared an ark for the saving of his household.  He prepared it for many more, but they refused to get into the ark and be saved.  He is a man of faith.

We need to diligently seek him, the Creator of the universe, who wants a relationship with us!  It’s not impossible, but it’s for those who care enough and are diligent and persistent enough to seek him.

Now that we understand a bit more about faith, what are some keys to passing on faith to our children, or raising children that have faith?

I am convinced that we are way too serious in this life!  We need to have fun and friendship in our families and with our children, so that they can see that our faith in God is real.  It’s not a duty, or a chore to serve God, but a privilege.  We have a favourite saying in our house, after hearing our kids ask, “Do we havveee to go to church?” Our answer would be, “ NO, you get to go to church!!”  “Do we haveee to clean our room?”  “NO, you get to clean your room because you’re fortunate enough to have a room!!”  
But everything we do as families has to be seasoned, with fun, laughter and joy in the lives God has given us to live.  Be friends with your kids, no matter what the circumstances, without your love and support, life is going to very harsh and meaningless for them.  

Material possessions, money or memories?  We live in a world that values only what they can see and hold and having more of those things, makes you more valuable….wrong!!  What are you spending your life on?  Is it only to buy the next new car, the bigger house, the designer furniture, more renovations, and more money to do it all, or do you see value in building memories, fun times, and a wealth of faith into your children’s lives? Schooling can only do so much, what our children accumulate into their lives goes to school with them and into all of their life.  What do we show them is important to us?  Do we have time to pray together, read the Bible together, laugh together, give to others together?  The world tells us just to look after ourselves; that is an empty, shallow way to live your life!  One of the best things we ever did was live in Tanzania with our children.  Despite people warning us of the dangers of ‘Africa’, they learned what real life is all about, saw poverty, experienced joys with friends from another culture and were even sometimes in dangerous situations where they saw God answer prayer that actually spared us our lives.  We could have deprived them of those experiences by playing it safe and doing the ‘sensible’ thing and never leaving Canada.  What a loss in their lives that would have been!

Our children learn what they see us live in front of them.  Saying one thing and living another, doesn’t work with kids, they can see right through us.  I remember Leonard telling the story of how his youngest sister decided that the hotel they were staying in one time was happy to give out towels and glasses from the room to their patrons.  So she packed them into the suitcases unknown to Leonard’s mother.  Needless to say his mother was mortified when she discovered all the towels and glasses in their luggage on opening up the suitcases at home!  But Florence wouldn’t let it ‘slide’, she wrapped everything up and mailed everything back to the hotel.  All her children learned a lesson in integrity and honesty through that experience. The principle of tithing is the same, our children see us do it and they want to do it.  What about the principle of generosity, are we generous, with our time, home, hospitality??  We can fool everyone else, but we can’t fool our kids.

We need to spend time with our children, to be able to pass on the things we value to them.  In our instant world, of everything done quickly to suit us, we have lost the value of spending time together.  As I get older I value time much more. Spend time with your kids; not only teaching or telling them something, but just BEING together.  We are human beings, not human doings!!  Just spend time with your kids and you will reap the reward.  

Our children will value what we value. We have a right to guide and direct what goes into our children’s minds and hearts; not only a right, but a God-given responsibility.  Kids don’t just grow up, they need to be raised up.  Just like a plant, watered, nurtured, tended well, our children need the same kind of care.  What do I value?  I need to make sure my children know what that is and pass that on to them.  We value God and we value people in our home. How we allow our children to talk to us and to each other, shows them if we value or don’t value people outside of our home as well.  When these values aren’t lived out, there needs to be correction and discipline.  Discipline is different for every child, but necessary for every child, to grow into the beautiful person God has intended for them to be.

We can pass on our faith to our children, we have the God-given privilege of doing that. Let’s do it with fun and friendship, teaching our children integrity, taking time to nurture them and instill in them healthy values that will carry them through life.

We don’t live our lives just for now, but we pass on who we are to the next and actually future generations.  Let’s not take our purpose in life lightly.

To lose either money, health, trust or loved ones is a great loss, but the greatest tragedy is to lose faith.  Don’t give up!!  Ask God for his grace so that you CAN pass on your faith to the next generation that lives right in your home.

Lorie Rutten

 
When you are raised in a family of eight children like I was, in the morning you are handed a lunch bag and told “dinner is at 5:30, you’re here, you eat.”  When your mother slaves over a meal and your say, “I don’t like it,” your brother beside you says “great” and takes it!
 
Macarthur’s thesis is that small families in a materialistic society breed selfish, self-indulgent children.  In one or two children families, the systems tend to bend to the child.  You end up with child-centered parenting.  
 
You end up with children ruling the home.  Children do not and must not rule the home.  The real world does not bend to us.  We all fit into a society and a world that consists of all kinds of people and situations.  We need to learn about the real world starting in our homes.  You can end up with people not wanting to invite your over because your children will trash their house. You can end up with children never wanting to leave home because they don’t want to grow up and face the reality that they are not the centre of the world.  Nobody at works says “ how would you like your office?”  The best way to ruin your son is to give him everything he wants.
 
Having lived in a large family; as well as having raised children in poorer areas of Africa, I see God’s wonderful way of balancing out our lives.  When we have very little we are grateful for what we have.  The food tastes better, there seems to be more joy in simpler and less things.  Generosity can be expressed by the poorest and the richest.  Relationships can be enjoyed by anyone and it seems more so by those whose lives are uncluttered.
 
We somehow have to show the world how to live a different life as we follow Christ.  The answer cannot only be going and living in poor countries or having eight children!  We must learn to live with a Godly contentment and in simplifying our lives here and now.  We need to train our children by example and by discipline how to grow up loving God and people more than things and themselves. I starts with not letting our children rule our homes.  It starts with gratitude, right now, for each day.
 
Leonard and Lorie Rutten

I think every family has one, that favourite ‘Uncle’ Jannie, or Johnny, or maybe Frank who is just a painful person to be around.  You dread those unavoidable family gatherings where you will cross paths with this dear soul.  The conversation will revolve around, how bad things have gotten in the country, how this generation is a bunch of lazy bums that doesn’t know what a real day’s work is, how none of the new parents in the family can control their kids and if they’re really ‘spiritual’, how wild and crazy the music in church has become these days!!

We all know of people like these, and we mutter to ourselves about how they just never aged well, how they never took life in their stride and never really saw the joys in life as they went along.

As always, it’s easy to point a finger at someone else, but what kind of a future are we building for ourselves, right now, that will take us down a different ‘happier’ path??

What you are now is only perpetuated with age.  If you are happy, carefree, love to travel, be with people and see the world now, you will probably enjoy this when you are older.  If you are concerned for your personal safety, always worried about your next rand or dollar, or wondering how you’ll ‘survive’ another month, this is probably what your old age will consist of.  What you do, think and say now, you will only do more so, as you age.  You will not turn into a free-spirited world traveler miraculously at the age of 65, if you don’t even want to leave the borders of Pretoria now!!  

This is all just practical stuff but the Bible speaks of older men and older women and gives us some good advice in Titus 2.

“Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love and in steadfastness.  Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine.  They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” Vv. 3-5

There are others, whom we have had the privilege to know over the years and I can’t help think of men like R.T. Kendall and others who have grown old gracefully.  I think the one major key to their lives seems to be their THANKFULNESS to God for everything in their lives.  They just exude a kind of on-going gratefulness for even the smallest details in life, giving God the glory in all circumstances, carrying on with some type of physical activity, spending time happily with friends and family and realizing in the end, this is all that matters anyway.  The illustrious careers will fall away, the money will come and go, the popularity and recognition you so desire will wane; but being ‘sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness’ can last a lifetime!

Plan for your old age now, live life wild, daring and grateful now and you can be sure you won’t end up like your favourite Oum Frikkie or Tanie Zeldagard!!